Monday, July 24, 2006

Here's your Sign...and mine must be on again!

My friend Kellie swears I have a sign on my forehead that says:
"If you are weird and have slight or majorly off balance opinions that you'd like to share come talk to me".
For a while the light must have gone out of my sign because I hadn't had any of these "weird" encounters for a while, but then came Blackmon Mooring Steamatic...who I must say did a lovely job extracting water from my flooded house but who's hiring criteria must include the ability to talk the bark off a stump! I have heard more random chatter on the most wide ranging and totally useless topics...such as opinions on why a 20ish year old guy should or should not continue to write romoantic literature, whether same said guy should continue to date a girl from a halfway house...whether said girl should change her lifestyle or not...whether said girl was capable of changing or not...what was the correct proceedure for taking soggy carpet from the house; roll by roll or wait till there was pile and then remove the pile. Then I heard the opinions of a slightly older father of 5 on what to do with sexual perverts, what to do with the Middle East, (oddly enough the solutions were similar) how to raise pit bulls and rotweilers and how to raise kids (again solutions were similar), today I got to hear about salary caps in football and baseball, about the ungodly perspective of Toyata entering the Nascar arena and the positives of driving around picking up fans from previously flooded homes verses driving a forklift.

I think I'm going to get a tatoo that says..."I see your lips moving but I don't have a clue what your saying" maybe it'll counter a little that sign that I can't seem to turn off!


Anonymous said...

Hey I just came across your blog. Youare really a nice person. I like yuor taste in housing and I really feel for you and that whole exploding toilet thing.

Hey, i have been thinking about something lately, maybe you can help me. I have these chin hairs that are really bothering me, do you think I should have electrolysis? Because I sort of have this "no Upgrade" thing. Meaning I am sometimes tempted to have a boob job, youknow, after that whole nursing my children until they were three things really takes it out of you...if you know what i mean. Anyway, do you think electrolysis to permentantly get rid of unwanted chin hair is kind of like having plastic surgery? I mean what is your youthink that growing a beard is just part of growing older gracefully? Or do you think that perhaps it doesn't really count since I wouldn't actually be going under the knife. Becasue I think I could grow old graciously much better if I didn't have to worry about chin hairs.

Hey did you hear that Tampax was tinking of entering a car in Nascar? I think it is only right...after all they have Viagara...I mean when are the women gonna have a car to cheer for?

Do you eat organic?

Kellie said...

You could get that tatoo written in chinese characters. It would make it alot less painful with less lettering... and Chinese Letter tatoos are really in right now. Also, I think that you could put a nice big smilee face next to it. Maybe on your ankle?

Lara said...

Dear Anonymous,
I feel your pain. Maybe you could just get a tattoo of a beard and join the circus...I'm sure after nursing children you are probably ready to join the circus. But at least go natural before you swear off the knife I mean givin up deoderant has all kinds of nice side effects such as extending you personal space without having to gain weight...keeps those crazy kids away too...When it comes to electrolysis are you sure shock therapy wouldn't be better...I mean why not get happy and hairless all at the sametime?

Lisa said...

Ok, Lara and Kellie, you are way too creative for me, I was totally thinking literally about the electrolosis. Or, maybe it is the hairdresser coming out in me. Anonymous, if you are still there, I have had electrolosis. It is fine, I didn't have super results, the hair grew back. It is NOTHING like having a boob job, though I have considered that too. The only thing is that first having no boobs, then having pregnancy and nursing boobs, I have really learned to appreciate my formerly boobless self. Alot less stuff getting in my way. Of course my other half would probably see it a little differently. Seriously though. If you want I can really let you know about electrolosis.

Lisa said...

ok, you two twisted blogheads. Nothing is literal in your blogland. Tricky Tricky.

Kellie said...


What in the world are you doing up at 3:20 am? I know you are excited about a prospective new house but go to bed already.

Heym you an I could start a new trend...just think if flat was IN?

Anyway, go to sleep but before you do that update your blog. ;)

Bec said...

I am thinking you should let those chin hairs grow because when you are at a Nascar race cheering on your favorite Tampax car you will be in like company. And just so you know eating organic and nursing children until they are 3 and being a nascar fan????? Well um let's just say they don't go together. May be you should give up Nascar and homeschool :)

Lara said...

Dang this thing is taking on a life of it's own!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you should be nicer to lisa. She may possibly be family and may have promised at one point in old age to pull whiskers from your chin...who knows.

Kellie said...

OK Anon,
I know who you are...there are only two people right now who read these blogs and AND are up at 3:23 am...and they are related!

Plus, we now who holds the real power here. Lisa cuts great hair and does excellant coloring...Oh to have that kind of power.