Monday, February 20, 2006

China's Secret Weapon

I'm sure that we need to have a carefully planned foreign policy to deal with China. My conviction doesn't come from their immense population, their voracious consumption of oil or their non pro USA political stance. I'm convinced that China has a large secretly trained society ready for war. My proof? Have you ever tried to open a Barbie or Barbie product? If we could just train our border security people with the people who train the workers to secure a Barbie doll in its package we'd never have a unknown terrorist cross our borders again! I just tried to open a Barbie guitar. Not only was the box taped so well that I had to literally tear the box to pieces to get it out, but once I got the box open the guitar was so tied to the piece of cardboard with twisty ties I ruined my new manicure just trying to get it undone. I must admit having a 6 year old daughter I was prepared for this, but to my surprise there was an added hurdle to cross....the twisty ties were HOTGLUED! I guess my only consolation concerning China's perceived security superiority is that their intelligence seems to be as abysmally bad as ours because they have somehow come to the conclusion that the population segment most to be feared are the 5-8 yearold Barbie loving girl population.

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