Thursday, December 20, 2007

50 friends most likely to flip

Today I was listening to KERA, the local public radio station and the subject was ending homelessness in LA and something called Project50. They said that they had developed a list of questions that they went out on the streets with in search of the 50 most vunerable homeless people, the fifty most likely to die on the streets in the following year, and gave them housing. My mind being the completely wacked and warped thing that it is I began thinking of the questions they were asking and translated them to determining the fifty most ready to crack friends I have. Here are some of the questions they asked the homeless people and what I could ask those around me.
Homeless Questions Homemaker Questions:
1. How long have you been on the streets? How long have you been a stay at home mom?
2. When was the last time you injected drugs? When was the last time you took your kids ADHD medication or drank more than one pot of coffee in a day? What is your average bedtime and when do you get up in the morning?
3. Do you have any diseases? How many times have your kids puked in the past 24 hours? How many times were on you? Do your kids automatically assume the held up position when they sneeze?
4. Have you been assulted? When was the last time you were able to physically soak in your tub instead of use it to hold dirty laundry? How many loads behind are you? How many days away from sending your kids naked to school?
AND THE FINAL QUESTION When was the last time someone looked at you and said it must be so nice to be able to just stay at home and relax!?!?!?!

2 comments:

meh said...

What I am curious about is which response do you usually favor them with on that last one: the look of lofty superiority with a soft smile and a nod, or, the look of crazed insanity as you laugh maniacally.

Dana said...

Good post.